Space Jake

"...and this is our story."
After a stunning stock shot of the new digs, every window lit impressively, we're shown that it's 4:55am and Amy is making coffee. This immediately makes the established viewer go "hmmmm?". A Roloff awake at five to five can mean only one of two things: we're about to go on another vacay with the R's...or hell has indeed frozen over.

Amy eliminates any environmental concerns about hell by explaining that she and Jacob are heading for Alabama. Alabama - home of Helen Keller, Space Camp, and Forrest Gump. Of course, Amy won't be able to leave until she gives herself two minutes to cram the coffee cups that have apparently mated like bunnies overnight on the kitchen counter into the dishwasher. Cuz, you know...the ever responsible Zach can't possibly be expected to step-up and handle such an awesome task when he wakes up in, say, six hours. Nope. The fate of the kitchen relies on Amy. Poor kitchen.

We're shown the obligatory trip prep with Jake packing his DVD's for the flight (one assumes) and Amy loading up the van. Noticeably absent from the picture are the rest of the Roloff crew. I guess departures from the hobby farm have become so regular that no one bothers to wake up to say goodbye any longer? While walking through the airport (do the Roloffs have their own gate yet?), Amy waxes poetic about Jake's personality. "Well Jake's personality is unexpected. One moment he can be quiet and other moments he can be so full of life...he can expressive and I was hoping that's how he'd be when he went to space camp." Cut to a Southwest Airlines plane taking off and Jake looking way less than excited. I guess Jake chose mood B. I suppose if I were flying cross country on SWA, I might look like that, too. None-the-less, one imagines that, this being Jake's "dream" and all...he might summon a little more enthusiasm for the trip. He looked more excited packing up his DVDs! Of course, Amy adds to the over-all lack of enthusiasm by claiming, as they leave the airport on the back-end, "I don't have much energy...".

Any pretense that the Roloff's are "just normal folks" trying to live "ordinary lives" is tossed under the bus as we're shown the exterior shot of the hotel. Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph...they're staying at Tara! Tara is "very nice". Jacob throws himself on the king size bed in a resigned posture. There's that enthusiasm! Although, Tara apparently has added a pool to the back and Jake and Amy seem to be the only visitors. The next shot shows them in the pool. *blink* They flew 3,000 miles to do exactly what they do at home. Amy tells Jake if he can swim from one side of the pool to the other in one breath, she'll don her suit and get in. Jake's mood improves dramatically as he goes all Michael Phelps on us and throws down the proverbial gauntlet for his madre'. As a parent, I feel Amy's inner "DAMMMMMIT!" To her credit, she joins him in the pool...where Jake proceeds to pelt her with splashes.

Because no epi would be complete without a TLC endorsed teaching moment, Jake and Amy head to the home of Helen Keller museum. I have to admit. The museum looks pretty nifty. There's the famous pump. There's a "moon tree". There's, you know, the place where a blind, deaf, mute learned to speak, read, and become one of the most famous advocates and examples for disabled people in the country. But, as Jake says, "this was pretty cool,...but I wanted to get to space camp pretty bad." And the moment is gone.

Cut to Space Camp. With any luck, by the end of the episode, Jake will join a rag tag team of social misfits and be launched into space through a series of predictable events by a cute, but sadistic, NASA robot named Max. :)

So, Space Camp...yeah. Jake is introduced to his nanny *cough* team leader and is escorted to his "habitat". Natch', Amy is documenting every moment as Jake opines "it's really not that special". Jeebus! This kids a downer! Amy wasn't kidding!

In true Amy-fashion, AMY begins making Jake's space camp bed. Now we know why Zach and Jeremy can't sharpen their own pencils or, you know, wake themselves up in the morning. To get serious for a moment, Amy talks and talks about how her kids are growing up and gaining their independence, but she doesn't walk the walk. An eleven year old should be able to negotiate a pillow case. If he can go to space camp, then he can put his own sheets on. If you expect your children to gain independence, you have to give it. "Space", in the title of the episode, must have been an unintended metaphor.

Amy begrudgingly leaves Jake after taking a thousand pictures. Of course, this may have been a parting for the cameras because Amy says "I'll see you in a minute." at the culmination of the "big goodbye". What? Jake slinks away in his attractive blue jumpsuit. *screeching halt* Okay. *begin rant* TLC! What's with the editing? Seriously! Between this show and JK8, you guys seriously need to work on the timeline. Your audience isn't stupid. When Jake leaves Amy in his blue jumpsuit, we're led to believe that this is Day 1 and Jake is about to "start" the Space Camp experience. This is somewhat thwarted by Amy's previously mentioned declaration that she'll see Jake "in a minute". The deception is completely exposed when we come back from the commercial to see Jake meeting his team/bunk mates in his orange shirt. Why do these shows mess with the timeline? Was the blue jumpsuit segment filmed at the END of the experience, as we'll see later, when he gets his patch righted and "graduates" (with Amy watching in the audience)? Why was that footage flip necessary? *end rant*

Jake's team is assigned to a shuttle simulator. They have to follow a script and run a sequence of button pushing that loosely models the real thing. The instructor tells the team that they're being graded on professionalism and their ability to follow the script and institute the actions with accuracy and team-work. My mind immediately asks, "WWMD" (What Would Matt Do?) in this situation? One can only hope that Jacob is asking the same thing and doing the exact opposite. Jacob's intensity shocked me. He actually seems to be absorbing what the instructor says and taking criticism very well. And, we get our first smile out of him for the episode (well, with regard to space camp, that is...he did grin when he dunked Amy in the pool). The kid starts to look genuinely happy to be there.

Amy, meanwhile, is cruising Alabama. She decides to go to the Rosa Parks Museum and gets lost. Take the bus, Amy. ;) A great LOL for the epi was listening to Amy mock OnStar: "It sounds like a German nanny." German nannies everywhere rise in protest! If I were Zach, I'd watch my back at the Belfast games...the German nannies could be lurking around every corner.
Finally, Amy gets to the museum for her (seemingly) private tour. Amy rightfully stands in awe of the courage of Rosa Parks and *cue inspiring music* relates the Civil Rights struggle to her experience as a little person. Again, though,...why wasn't this a bigger part of the show? See. If this show is about highlighting the "obstacles and challenges" of being an LP in a big world, then why do they only give 90 seconds of a 1,440 second show, to these interesting correlations? The Space Camp thing is just one big commercial.

Back at camp, Jake is trying out numerous gadgets and gizmos designed to make someone feel like their in space. In reality, equating any of these things to actual space travel is like saying Chuck E. Cheese adequately would prepare one for climbing Everest. There are just some things for which commercialized camps do not prepare people. I have to imagine space is one of them. Despite this, Jake appears to be having a ball and comes out of his shell a bit. Roloff Farms style hijinks ensues with kids falling out of bunk beds and throwing stuff. Only, at space camp, an adult comes in to attempt to stop the potential law suits. I will say that I felt for Jake with regard to going to bed at 9pm Eastern Time. That's only 6pm Pacific and we've all seen how lax bedtime is at the farm. Yikes.

I must've spoke too soon about LP connections in the show because Amy is now touring the camp with an eye toward setting up a camp for LPs. Amy gets to try out the toys and gadgets. I have to say I'm kind of jealous...Chuck E Cheese prep or not. After her experience, Amy crashes Jake's lunch and brings a care package of junk food. I'm sure Steve, the boys' nighttime counsellor, appreciates that soooooooo much. But, hey...even real astronauts have been known to sneak a Snickers into space.

After a week, Jake's team graduates from Space Camp. Astronaut Musgrave gives a nice speech and the kids get their patches flipped. The wisdom of velcroed patches suddenly makes tons of sense. The parting shot of the show shows Amy and Jake leaving the Space Center with Amy towing Jacob's luggage while Jake walks ten feet ahead of her looking less than enthused. Ahhh...sweet. I love the smell of status quo in the morning.